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I want to scream at the top of my lungs "HELP ME!!!" but I know I can't tell anyone the truth. I'm so ashamed of what I've done to myself, and most importantly my family. It physically makes me sick to my stomach! At this point I have no one else to turn to... This is my last resort, my pathetic whimper for help. If my story can prevent even one person from following in my footsteps I'll have done something good. The following events are unfortunately very real. I wish more than anything this was just some sick fantasy. I'm going to be 100% truthful, no matter how sick you may think it is... This is my story.I grew up in a small town just outside of Boston, the youngest of three daughters. I had what most would call a picture perfect family. My mother was a stay at home mom and my father worked as an eletrician and all around handyman. I had a family who loved and supported me my whole life, no matter the situation. I couldn't ask for anything better. I studied hard and excelled in. I was almost shaking with anticipation of walking into the pool area with nothing but my speedo, swim goggles and cap. Soooooo, i put my bag in the locker, took a deep breath and walked through the door, boldly!I walked around the pool and noticed a couple folks look over at me. I instantly looked around to see if anyone else was wearing something similar. There was one guy swimming laps in the pool, which was crowded, and he was wearing a bright blue speedo also! I felt to relieved that there was someone else there who understood what the experience was like. I had always fantasized about doing this before and I wondered how it would feel to glide throughout the water with so little between me and the water. I walked over to his lane and waited for him to stop for a second. I asked him if we could share a lane and he graciously accepted. So I slid into the water feeling incredibly liberated and began my swim. Once I started to swim I could feel the speedo fitting better and better..
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